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IF I ONLY HAD THE NERVE21:06 Jul 23 2010
Times Read: 843
I am a cowardly lion.
I still haven't found the courage to tell my boss that I made a mistake. It's been almost 2 weeks since I uncovered the problem, and the proverbial shit is going to hit the fan.
It comforts me to know that it's inevitable. It's unstoppable. Like gravity.
The problem itself is relatively small; it amounts to a $1500 billing error on a $2 million account. Sure, it's bad -- no doubt about that -- and it's regrettable that my department will have to eat the loss for my mistake. But in the big scheme of things, it's ultimately a very small mistake. But it's my mistake; I own it.
There's a very good chance that I could sweep it under the rug and no one would notice for a long time. But my conscience won't allow it.
For the first time, in a very long time, I have made a mistake. I can make no excuses. I can't even find the words to explain how I did it. Each day I put this off only guarantees that my boss will be that much angrier.
Still. This doesn't inspire me to go into his office and explain things. I just can't do it. I feel like I'm cemented to my chair. I live in a constant state of panic. I have to tell him before he discovers it himself.
It's scary when he gets angry. He bangs on tables, swears, and turns a million shades of red. I feel like I have to be angrier at myself than he will be, just to counteract his craziness. By the way, there's no guarantee that this tactic will work.
So I'm sitting here, watching the clock & hoping that I can find the courage on Monday. I feel like the weight of the world is crushing me. I haven't slept in two weeks. My brain hurts.
And still. It's nothing compared to how terrible he is going to make me feel.
90 more minutes of this....
I'm a terrible coward.
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COMMENTS
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Vampirewitch39
09:22 Jul 24 2010
No matter how badly he acts, makes you feel.... YOU will feel better knowing you step up and told him. The reason you can't sleep now - is it because of the mistake, or the few hours of your boss making you feel bad? From reading this it is more about the mistake.
You can do it lion, you can....you can.
:)
Vampirewitch39
09:22 Jul 24 2010
No matter how badly he acts, makes you feel.... YOU will feel better knowing you step up and told him. The reason you can't sleep now - is it because of the mistake, or the few hours of your boss making you feel bad? From reading this it is more about the mistake.
You can do it lion, you can....you can.
:)
thanatoswhisper
17:33 Jul 24 2010
You are not a coward, you are a human. Humans make mistakes that is why pencils come with erasers. So your boss gets crazy, the worst that can happen is he turns a million shades of red, orders you to clear your desk. You may like your job and the economy is shit right now but remember everything happens for a reason. Letting your mistake go on for months, is not healthy and is even going to make your boss even angrier. Take a deep breath you can't spend your entire life scared to death of how another human is going to react. :( Two weeks without sleep is not a good thing.
Drakontion
23:40 Jul 24 2010
You're only human. Mistakes do happen. Just act with dignity, apologise, fix it up. By no means get angry as well. If he blows up, that's his problem, not yours. And I think the relief you feel will be worth it, yes?
*hugs* good luck.
chrysanthemia
23:32 Jul 25 2010
Wow, man. That fucking sucks. Sorry for the f-word, but nothing else seemed to fit. If you actually were a coward though, you would have done this two weeks ago when you would have gotten off easier. And if I had your boss, I'd probably cry. Haha. Or swear back at him. You made a mistake. You have totally accepted that you made a mistake. You're owning up to it. There really is nothing else he can expect of you. There is nothing else you can do to make it better. Besides telling your boss, now. Which happens tomorrow, I suppose. Best of luck! Hope it all goes well for you.
Sinora
13:32 Jul 28 2010
Ohhh I know how that feels, so I know I'm right to tell you to go and tell him now.
Nedra
13:49 Jul 28 2010
1500.00......sweety I once sent an entire container load of chocolate to Germany (42,000 lbs) when the customer only wanted 7 cases.
Stand tall soldier!! You can do it - sort of like taking off a band aid. And he cannot fire you for one mistake.
Theban
11:50 Jul 29 2010
Have you done the deed yet?
It must be very stressful living with that knowledge! So if you haven't, you must for all of the above reasons!
Joli
04:22 Jul 30 2010
No way to everything they said. YOU SUCK! *embolismsputtersnarl*
dabbler
18:24 Aug 06 2010
you could opt to breach the subject as a recent discovery, mention how something didn't settle right, so you made it a point to review the account, and affirmed your suspicion. mention how paper work crunched, and avoided earlier affirmation of an error.
dabbler
18:26 Aug 06 2010
ever think he could be trying to get up steam to ask you aside to mention the same error?
Joli
18:41 Aug 06 2010
So, didja tell him? Didja didja? Did he turn purple? Did you stammer? Can I watch it on YouTube?